Grave of the Dragonslayer - Ballade. Erfordert etwas Ruhe, um sich darauf einzulassen

The Grave of the Dragonslayer
>A Ballad<

The wind was howling,
and the thunder was growling,

the moon between the clouds was bright,
and the land was dark; except for one light.
It was the lamp of a hero on his horse,
while over him the thunder roars,
riding through the wind and rain,
and though he was wounded, he felt no pain.

Demons were riding on the storm,
to scare any men they once had sworn,

but his heart full of honour, for fear was no place,
nothing could stop him on his chase.
He followed a dragon, evil and old,
the price on his head, worth more than just gold.
For the one with the courage to make a stand,
as reward the King gave his own daughter´s hand.

"So knight don´t you hesitate,
and take the chance to meet your fate,

so follow the dragon through the night,
but always stay out of his sight.
And search his cave - noone knows where,
for sure he brings my daughter there.
Be careful of his fire breath,
which are the eternal flames of death."

That´s what the king said during the feast,
so the knight left the table to follow the beast.

He rode all night with the storm in his face,
and when it was dawn he saw: the secret place.
The cave of the monster, evil and old,
filled full with jewels, silver and gold.
But for all the treasures he had no desire,
always in mind the all deadly fire.

Then all of a sudden the dragon appeared,
never before the knight had been scared.

In shimmering armour, with shield and with lance,
against the dark dragon, was there a chance?
The knight stood ready for the fight,
his golden armour mirrored the light.
Then he saw him, though it was dark,
and in his black eyes was a furious spark.

The knight was prepared for glory or death,
And then the dragon blew the allmighty breath.

In short time with fire the whole cave was filled,
and it was pure luck that the knight got not killed.
His luck was his shield and he started to fight,
with a sword and a lance against dragon´s bite.
It was a hard battle, that only one would survive,
and only one would leave the cave, being alive.

And short after sunset the battle long done,
courage and honour finally had won!

On the ground of the cave the dragon lay dead,
the armour of the knight, once golden - now red.
And though he had won, his wounds were so deep,
he lost much of his blood, he was too weary to creep.
From behind of the cave she came to the knight,
the princess, whose beauty was worth all the fight!

Knieling before him, her eyes were so bright,
he suddenly thought of liquid moonlight.

She took of his armour, held him in her arm,
her skin was like ivory, pale, white and warm.
She looked at him and her eyes full of tears
were reward enough for all his fears.
But he was so tired, could not open his eyes,
and through a dark tunnel he heard the princess, who cries.

Hours and hours, the battle long done,
the soldiers came to see who had won.

One after one they entered the cave,
to see the princess, healthy and safe.
In her arms the knight - he was dead,
she looked at the soldiers and all that she said:
„He was a hero, flawless and brave,
he gave his life, my life to save.“

In memory of him they then closed the cave,
buried him and the dragon, in one grave.

Dedicated to him they wrote in the rock face
to always remember what happened at this place:
„A man came who dared for the princess to fight,
against evil dragons in an unholy night.
Here he lies dead and shall lie forever,
because this is the grave of the dragonslayer.“

3 „Gefällt mir“

That’s epic, Michel! Mein Englisch ist sehr bescheiden, aber ich habe deine Ballade eben laut und dramatisch deklamiert. Ein wenig holprig fand ich beim Deklamieren nur die Stelle „But he was so tired, could not open his eyes,
and through a dark tunnel he heard the princess, who cries.“
Irgendwie kürzer fiele mir leichter, ähnlich wie …he felt his heart fading in her cries.
— Ich hatte nämlich zufällig vor, einem 11-Jährigen (der besser Englisch kann als ich) einen sog. Drachenblutstein (dragon blood stone) zu schenken, dazu lese ich deine Ballade vor (keine Sorge, es ist nur 1 einziges Kind, keine Vervielfältigung deines Werkes).
Ich füge zu meinem Zweck noch einen eigenen Schluss dazu (bitte meine Fehler ausbessern, aber reimen muss es sich :slight_smile:

Listen, my beloved child,
dare to be precious and wild,
but be careful sometimes,
no promise is gold like it shines.

To remind you of this, I give you this stone,
so your soul will never feel alone.
Dragon blood is the stone called by name,
mixed blood of dragons and heroes are same.

The dragon blood stone will help you reach your goal,
be wise and comforted and blessed, my dear soul.

1 „Gefällt mir“

Vielen Dank & es freut mich wirklich, dass sie Dir gefallen hat! Was könnte schöner sein, als die Ballade bei einem Geschenk für einen Drachenfan zu wissen? Deinen Zusatz für das Geschenk finde ich toll.
Danke für die Rückmeldung und alles Liebe,
m.

Ich finde es eine schöne Geschichte mit einem Ende wie in griechischen Epen. Aufgefallen sind mir ein paar Dinge:
An zwei Stellen wechselst du für den Reim vom allgemeinen Imperfekt zum Präsens:

An einer Stelle schreibst du „Knieling“, das müsste „Kneeling“ sein.
Hier und da sind Kommata zu viel (teilweise wahrscheinlich gesetzt nach Atempausen im Reim) und irgendwo fehlte auch eins.
Inhaltlich habe ich mich gefragt, wo die Verwundung ganz am Anfang herkam und ob sie noch eine Rolle spielt (Ihre Herkunft ist nicht erklärt, sie behindert ihn später nicht, vielleicht kann man sie weglassen).
Außerdem ist seine Bewaffnung etwas inkonsistent. Erst hat er noch Schild und Lanze, dann Schwert und Lanze. Erstere Kombination finde ich sinniger, vor allem, weil Schwert und Lanze nicht gut gleichzeitig zu führen geht. (Wenn du ein doppeltes „shield“ beim beim zweiten Mal vermeiden willst, vielleicht „with wood and steel against a dragon’s bite“ oder „His luck was his strength and he started to fight / with a shield and a lance against dragon’s bite.“ Aber vielleicht fällt dir ja auch noch was Besseres ein.)
Was das Reimen angeht: Etwas unglücklich finde ich die Wiederholung des Reims old - gold (zumindest ist sie mir aufgefallen) und den Vierer (cave - grave - face - place).
Ansonsten ein wirklich schönes Werk! :smile:

1 „Gefällt mir“

Vielen, vielen Dank dafür, dass Du so gründlich gelesen hast. Danke für Lob & Kritik gleichermaßen. Sehr konstruktiv und nicht demotivierend. Hugs, m.